386 dx
by goat

411>
name: 386 DX
age: 3 y. o.
sex: mostly sing with male voice
location: moscow
ideal romantic evening: romance is something from the past. would be nice to go for a walk in woods or swim in a river
write up>
although he didnt admitt it above, 386dx is one alexei shulgin. and if you haven't heard
of him it's because he's more a proper artist (in the modern sense) then a musican, and his
claim to fame is being the worlds first cyber punk band (or, more accurately, cyber punk cover band.
see, his output centers around revamping classic rock and pop sings into a moderen (circa 1990)
techno framework. high art is a strange thing, especially when individuals such as shulgin are
embraced by the very same "joyless" types he wants to rock. and he does. i asked the crazy russian
a few questions, and thanks to a wry sense of wit and the hilarity of mistranslations and language/cultura differences, this is what transpired. rock over moscow, rock on kiev.
oh yeah, he's got a number of tracks up for dl at his site.
what do you do? is this what you were put on earth for?
cyberpunk rock. for some period of time - definitely
remaking classic pop songs seems to survive in the face of
trends, is it possible to exhaust an artform such as yours?
oh yes, easily - there are not so many great tunes. working with bad or
just ok ones is not that exciting. if i was more commercially minded i
would do ten times more songs - to please everybody.
who might benefit the most from your musical output:
a.university security officers, b. high school gym teachers, or,
c.minut spy plane pilots
the recipe for 386 dx's successful gig is: educated audience and
alcohol.
you covered "smells like teen spirit" by nirvana, which, the
time of its release, was credited with killing the MTV bighair band period.
what big hair band would you most like to see make a major comeback?
none. it's impossible. let them stay where they are. nirvana's success
could only happen because of their low educational level. big hair
aesthetics and pathos are 200% abused by showbiz now and
therefore corrupt. noone being in right mind would believe in it
anymore.
if an intelligent person like stephan hawking or gerhardt schroader sent
you a letter telling you to stop making music, how would you answer?
i'd say: wait a bit, that'll happen one day or another
what is your favourite video game and how has it noticably
affected your life, so far.
doom 1 - it runs on 386 dx and is the only one i played in my life
does our earths moon have a proper name other then "the moon"?
what would you rename it? why?
it's different in serbian - luna
have any of the artists youve covered gotten in touch with you?
i know mick jagger fancys himself an artist of sorts, perhaps he's heard of you,
seeings how you remade a rolling stones song...
thanks god no. i wouldn't like to communicate with them - they seem to
be zombies. or ghosts.
have you ever been told you are disrespecting the classic pop
songs you remake by replacing the original sounds with cheap sounding computer
blips and tones? do you consider what you do disrespectfull?
yes many times. especially when i perform bach (yes, it's a side
project of 386 dx - singing classical music). i think what i do is much
more respectful to the songs then depreciating them by playing billions of
times on the radio and tv.
what would you cover first? motorhead "ace of spades" or
judas priests "hot rockin" ? why?
thanks for suggestion - i have to listen for them first. another words
- probably none as i'm only doing really famous songs which everyone
knows - that contributes to the effect my project has on people.
are you a closet metalhead?
all made of metal!
fun fact #1:
386 dx enjoys visiting such sites as
google.com ,
zdnet.com/downloads ,
as well as sites with self made
unpragmatic software.
is it true russian anchorwoman take their clothes off on the
news? do they shave first?
yes i remember there was a program like that. but i doubt it was
original.
what is the saddest song you've ever heard?
joy division stuff
how would / does a celebrity status affect your output?
like almost everyone else's - i am pushed towards pop by the desire to
affect more people. the last song i made was metallica's 'enter sandman'
(do you call it metal - ?)
(ab$olutely) when trash is on the road, people in america tend to swerve out
of the way to avoid the refuse.
when metro closes for the night people in moscow tend to hurry up to
catch the last train.
does your music ever seem to inspire an emotional response in the people you play for?
have you ever had any one dance at your performances?
pheeew - you should see one! they often dance like mad (if a space is
good for dancing). it usually takes 3 or 4 songs for people to realize
that there is nothing wrong in dancing to the (at first) shocking
sound of 386 dx. and they always ask me to play more.
compared to other (human) rockers 386 dx doesn't pretend that it has
emotions and people therefore believe to the soulless machine - but
not to phoney and sold out humans. i think that general crisis
of sincerity and may i say soul in the modern society makes 386 dx's
approach successful. few times i even saw young girls crying at my
gigs.
how long does it take to get permission to cover a rolling
stones song as oppossed to a sex pistols one?
since they both are consumer goods - exactly the same time. speed of a
bank transfer.
in your opinion, who invented "the funk"?
have to learn more about funk
finnish this rap: i'm like a cluster bomb blowin' up my block...
i'm like a cluster bomb blowin' up my block
But genital warts save the day
tick tock meowed the clock
codfish smell bad on market day
fun fact #2:
386dx has admitted to have never heard the dead kennedys (laugh riot!)
everybody has their influences. have you ever heard or saw
something and thought "i hope that DOESN'T influnece me..."?
well i like to be influenced. i've never written any original
composition. while performing i try to repeat the guys whos songs i am playing.
desire for originality is among reasons that lead western world to
its decline.
what does musical progression mean to you?
as i mentioned already i have a classic music side project (with very
little audience, that's understandable - would you write about it?). i
am also about to release a cd with all russian rock hits (their titles
would say nothing to you but everybody knows them in russia). and,
above all - i am planning a terrific project which is still a secret
and might never be realized.
what would affect your ability to make art more, lots of money
or lots of debt?
hard to say - never experienced none of the options. and hopefully
never will.
how much television do you watch compared to how much you find
genuinely informative?
i don't watch tv now, it is a brainwashing and time sucking machine.
is there any reason people SHOULDN'T buy all your records?
if they don't agree that the world (culture, art, music) today
is unbearably different from what it was even 10 years ago.
386 dx website